


A Lifetime Blinded and Chained

by jusrecht



Series: Infinity [3]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: 50 Sentences, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-17
Updated: 2009-03-17
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jusrecht/pseuds/jusrecht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>50 sentences of Schneizel/Suzaku</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lifetime Blinded and Chained

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically the summary of the [Infinity](http://archiveofourown.org/series/134055) universe.

**#01 - Motion**  
Suzaku has stood at standstill, the world in pieces at his feet after her death; it is _him_ , who puts it in motion again.  
  
 **#02 - Cool**  
His narrow bed is cold to touch and the silence too loud to hear, but they are still better than the knowledge that he has degraded himself to the world’s oldest profession – a whore.  
  
 **#03 - Young**  
Just because he is young does not excuse this foolishness of letting his heart, his little stupid weakness defeat his purpose, but the mistake is done.  
  
 **#04 - Last**  
Love like this cannot last, he thinks as they wade through wars and massacres disguised as a fight for virtue, because it isn’t love at all.  
  
 **#05 - Wrong**  
But many weeks tiptoe past and he is still proven wrong.  
  
 **#06 - Gentle**  
Suzaku suppresses a shiver when Schneizel murmurs in his ear, “There shall be a reward for your obedience.”  
  
 **#07 - One**  
He only has one reason why he keeps this love: he cannot do otherwise.  
  
 **#08 - Thousand**  
He has thousands other reasons why he cannot keep this love, but each falls into dull insignificance like ashes from the burned tip of a cigar every time his prince smiles at him.  
  
 **#09 - King**  
There is only one king in Suzaku’s world and it isn’t Japan.  
  
 **#10 - Learn**  
The first thing to learn as a knight is to obey, and Suzaku remembers this for the rest of his life.  
  
 **#11 - Blur**  
There used to be a line between Japan and Schneizel, two things that matter to him, but when Suzaku finds himself selling his body to the Emperor for the sake of his master, he realises that he cannot see the line anymore.  
  
 **#12 - Wait**  
The summon doesn’t come for weeks – _that_ is how angry the prince is with him.  
  
 **#13 - Change**  
The difference is subtle, but it’s there, enough to make him hope that _he_ , perhaps, truly cares.  
  
 **#14 - Command**  
“If you remain his knight,” Zero says, his voice wrapping around each word like a knife, “then you will have to face me.”  
  
 **#15 - Hold**  
Suzaku doesn’t waver when he answers, “Then so be it.”  
  
 **#16 - Need**  
War is unavoidable to shape an empire, Schneizel tells him matter-of-factly, just like every birth, blood will be shed, pain will be felt, things will be lost – and hearts, he knows, hearts will be tossed aside like secondhand toys, all for the sake of greater good.  
  
 **#17 - Vision**  
Only his dream for his mother country keeps him going, but sometimes, when he is alone inside Lancelot and the world burns down around him, it still isn’t enough.  
  
 **#18 - Soul**  
“There is only one sin you have committed,” Schneizel says as he brings Suzaku’s bloodied hand to his lips, “and that is you love me.”  
  
 **#19 - Attention**  
Now, when he accepts kisses that burn his lips, it is to forget today and live tomorrow.  
  
 **#20 - Picture**  
Their victory is not a picture of celebration, but of lives lost, families broken, and friendships destroyed.  
  
 **#21 - Mad**  
Nunnally’s tears hurt him more than Kallen’s furious screams, but he comes to see them every day and he will beg for their forgiveness – until he can find it in him to forgive himself.  
  
 **#22 - Fool**  
The end doesn’t justify the means; a naïve fool said that long, long time ago, he remembers when he kneels before the new emperor of Britannia.  
  
 **#23 - Child**  
“But the throne needs an heir,” Suzaku repeats the words he has told himself thousands times over, and his voice still cracks at the end.  
  
 **#24 - Now**  
Every morning for two weeks, he attends a meeting to decide who is to become the empress, but at night he tells himself to pretend and just live for the moment.  
  
 **#25 - Shadow**  
He doesn’t sleep on the last night he spends in his master’s bed, watching morning creep in, feeling the hour draw closer.  
  
 **#26 - Goodbye**  
“I love you,” _and that’s why I’m letting you go._  
  
 **#27 - Hide**  
The celebration is at its peak, laughter joining the soaring waltz in a chorus when he steps outside to the balcony, his sight already much too blurred to see anything.  
  
 **#28 - Fortune**  
“You’re lucky you can still stay at his side,” Suzaku tells himself that every day and tries so hard to believe it.  
  
 **#29 - Safe**  
But when he touches himself at night, in the safety of his room, he still comes with his master’s name on his lips.  
  
 **#30 - Ghost**  
A chance encounter with death crumbles even resolve ages old, let alone the ghost of his weak, little heart when an assassination attempt almost rips them apart.  
  
 **#31 - Book**  
Maybe it’s a line from some book or a cheesy old movie, but he trembles when Schneizel kisses the ring that fits perfectly around his finger, and murmurs, “My knight, my love, my everything.”  
  
 **#32 - Eye**  
Jacques is the first to notice the ring and he says nothing – the look in his eyes is telling enough.  
  
 **#33 - Never**  
If anyone else notices, they’ve never said anything either – and for the first time in history, Suzaku doesn’t care if they do, behind his back.  
  
 **#34 - Sing**  
He hates how his heart sings, deaf to the slanders from the sneering nobles, even the moral cries of his own conscience when he lets his master kiss him between meetings.  
  
 **#35 - Sudden**  
Her Majesty suddenly never smiles at him anymore and Suzaku believes he knows why.  
  
 **#36 - Stop**  
Only three times in the course of his life did his world stop turning: when Euphie died, when Schneizel got married, and when the empress announced her pregnancy.  
  
 **#37 - Time**  
Nine months is a long time to get used to a change, but he still shivers every morning when he wakes up and discovers that another day has dawned.  
  
 **#38 - Wash**  
“I wish you’ve never existed,” she hisses, and perhaps with the sting on his cheek, it eases his guilt a little.  
  
 **#39 - Torn**  
The princess curls her tiny fingers around his thumb and Suzaku wishes he knows why he wants to cry and scream at the same time.  
  
 **#40 - History**  
Beatrice never forgives him – there are too many he has taken from her.  
  
 **#41 - Power**  
But death does strange things to people and she touches his hand as she lies on her deathbed, asking him to take care of her husband and children.  
  
 **#42 - Bother**  
They could have been a happy family, he reflects numbly on the day of the funeral, if not for his existence.  
  
 **#43 - God**  
Maybe he has been forgiven and his prayers answered – why else the prince and princess would smile at him as if he didn’t cause their mother grief?  
  
 **#44 - Wall**  
“Promise that you will marry me one day,” the seven-year-old Princess Eleanor el Britannia demands and only after he has given her his word that she jumps down from the palace wall.  
  
 **#45 - Naked**  
“And you didn’t think I would mind?” Schneizel arches his eyebrows when he recounts the tale at the end of the day, and Suzaku laughs, wrapping his legs around his lord’s hips.  
  
 **#46 - Drive**  
“When I die, it will be for the sake of your father.”  
  
 **#47 - Harm**  
He always loves far too easily, and thus hurts far too often, but happiness finds him in the end.  
  
 **#48 - Precious**  
Japan remains his motherland, but his home now lies elsewhere, with a family he's never had the chance to cherish before.  
  
 **#49 - Hunger**  
“No, you are _not allowed to leave me_ ,” Schneizel’s voice is raw with need, stripped bare of its usual finesse and control, and Suzaku smiles.  
  
 **#50 – Believe**  
“I will still be here,” he whispers, his own voice growing faint with every shuddering breath, every drop of blood, every beat of the heart so close to his ears, “with you, always.”

 


End file.
